Adonai vasu borragus-胡愛晏(WHOIAM)

Breaking: Mob Link Is Pursued in Fight Involving Owner of Pizzeria! We can't decide what's more disturbing...the blatantly stereotypical (not to mention violent) content of the headline or its shocking use of passive voice.

It was the day of the annual Brooklyn Beefsteak, a resurrected Tammany Hall-era all-the-beef-and-beer-you-can-eat feast. It traditionally draws the non-hipster, non-artist, and non-Park-Slope-mommy crowd of Brooklyn - all four of them.

Never fear, though. The above story was immediately followed by a far more traditional Brooklyn story: "Can Teetering Toddlers Find Balance in Yoga?"